Monday, January 24, 2011

Perfizer Part One


The Fifth type in the SP System is the Perfizer and that is pronounced per-fai-zer, with the emphasis on the second syllable. Perfizer means the one who achieves the perfect. They are the achievers of the world who have the gift of moving mountains when others only see the obstacles. To be honest initially I had a lot of resistance in accepting the gift of perfection this type was offering so freely. I had myself convinced that I couldn’t relate and feel or clearly see the beautiful strings of Truth emanating from the core of the Perfizer.
Actually my gut reaction when I first read the information on this type was oh shit, what did I sign up for here? Perfect achiever of the planet that is so NOT ME! I then started to focus on all the parts of myself that are not perfect and all of the things I have not yet achieved. My rather intense negativity regarding my less than perfect self began to snowball and for a little while I could only seeing the obstacles. In my mind these obstacles really were mountains and they were holding back the success of SP and everything else I have ever touched. My resistance escalated to the point where I considered calling the Creator, which would be Drew. I wanted to explain to him that I thought he was wrong on this type, there is no Truth in this one, and honestly how dare he be so bold as to suggest that people can achieve perfection? I smelled the ego all over this one…
Well it’s a good thing that I don’t have Drew’s number. With hind sight I see that I needed to have my little internal temper tantrum and stomp my feet, rage fully splashing in the puddles of regret, guilt and shame. While shaking my fist at the heavens swearing at God saying “Don’t make me come up there to straighten this out!” and as I allowed myself to feel the intensity of my anger, I was humbled with the realization that some things really push my buttons and I guess I can get a little bit passionate about things. I’m not perfect, and in the moment that I accepted what I was really feeling I realized the Perfizer within had evoked a lot of fear in me.
I then saw my ego strutting around shining its armor and buffing its sword preparing to engage in battle. I found myself at one of those internal cross roads, and I knew I had an important choice to make. I could continue on under the protection of my armor that is made out of my past battles, or I could leave my ego for a bit and venture further along the SP path in the nakedness of my own Soul. I felt so much hesitation and wondered could I trust the Universe and the process that was unfolding enough to allow myself to be vulnerable and exposed while undertaking this quest in search of the gift of perfection? Honestly in this moment as I write this entry I still can’t feel the truth in the gift of perfection the Perfizer is showing me. I guess I have some things to mull over so stay tuned…

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